If someone were to say to you: “You are not a good friend,” you would instantly list off a number of reasons why that person is wrong. How could they be right if, just this week, you surprised your co-worker with a get-well card, called your mom for her birthday, and talked with your best friend for hours after her boyfriend broke up with her? All those reasons are proof positive that you are a thoughtful friend.
And yet when we tell ourselves we are not good at something, we believe it. We rarely argue with our own thoughts. We just listen and nod. The little voice in our heads can sometimes be hurtful, pessimistic, and down-right mean, and we just sit back and take it. Believing what it says creates self-doubt and insecurity, which affects everything we do in life. The worst part is that often times we are not even aware of our negative beliefs. We are so used to the chatter, we don’t even notice. We simply experience the effects including anxiety, anger, and depression, and feelings of discouragement and hopelessness, to name a few.